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I don’t know about you, but I am someone who likes to get the best out of my day. Do you fill up yours with all sorts of events that give you very little time for your own needs? Even to the point that you could describe yourself as a square peg that likes to try to fit into round holes, or in other words, you like to fit lots of activities into very little time? Well, I am a reformed square peg fitter! I once was excellent at fitting square pegs into round holes! That's what I thought anyway! And I probably still could, except I am aware of it now and the consequences of it, so I check myself regularly!! What was the result of fitting square pegs into round holes do you think? For me, it was anxiety, stress, exhaustion, and resentment that followed! And the likelihood of causing an accident, like tripping up, falling down stairs all of those undesirables!  But I did that to myself, so how was it possible that my emotions and state of exhaustion were anyone else's fault? While all that sounds very logical, emotional stuff has no logic at all lots of the time! Why did I keep doing that? Maybe the perfectionist in me was calling, maybe the fear of not being good enough, maybe the idea of wanting to get the best out of the day, but in reality, that was just a way of justifying my behaviour for lack of self-love and self-care. Now that I know better I can do better, thanks to the late Maya Angelou for that inspirational quote. It all goes back to awareness, balance, and control, my ABC for stress management.  When we are in the midst of stressful events we sometimes fail to see the solution, or that we have tools to solve our problem ourselves. As I have gotten older, the need for self-care has become much more urgent, than when I was an energetic younger person. I choose now to spend my energy on much more productive things, firstly by taking care of myself and then what energy is left I spend on other things, rather than the other way round. There is so much joy to be found in the world. Rather than filling up my day with activities and events I choose to find the joy that is already there, acknowledge it, and appreciate it. It is very refreshing to know that you can change the habits of a lifetime, by first becoming aware that you have some that do not serve you well, but when you don’t know any better you just keep repeating them!  When you become aware, then you can make the necessary changes to habits that serve you better. Just like squashing the square peg into the round hole, a round one fits so much better! I am a round peg now, they fit in easier, and they even fit into square spaces too! If you are a square peg fitter and would like to reform, I would be delighted to help you round off your edges. Just book a no-obligation discovery call through the website and we can have a chat about your needs. There’s no time like the present!

It is always a good exercise to look back and reflect on the year that you have just lived through. I like to use these tools i.e., (a) What went well and what learning am I bringing with me into the next year? (b) What did not go so well and what am I letting go of? (c) What will I change to make life better in the coming year? Anyone who knows me knows that I talk about living your best life, and in my experience that is not possible unless you assess and evaluate what you have already done and either change it or keep doing it, it is really that simple. The year 2023, brought me many positive learnings that I can take into my life and my business. I decided at the beginning of the year my word was going to be sincere. Well, be careful what you wish for, because I got a big lesson in realising just how sincere I am, but more to the point how insincere others may be especially those that you expect more of! Well, that positive learning is coming into 2024 with me along with my new word ‘boundaries’ and fun of course. I am intending to work on my boundaries more and strengthen them with my positive learnings from last year. I am grateful for the lessons that I can now add to my wisdom and make this year my best year yet.

“We are made for goodness. We are made for love. We are made for friendliness. We are made for togetherness. We are made for all of the beautiful things that you and I know. We are made to tell the world that there are no outsiders. All are welcome: black, white, red, yellow, rich, poor, educated, not educated, male, female, gay, straight, all, all, all. We all belong to this family, this human family.” Tutu Rise in Glory. When I was a child the 8th of December marked a special feast day, but more importantly it was a day off school! It marks a very significant date in the Roman Catholic church calendar. The feast days were great because it meant a day off! The day that all the people who lived down the country came to Dublin to shop. Long before we had shopping centres on the outskirts of the city.  A very special day indeed one of preparation for the big celebration of Christmas that was coming. However, Christmas can be challenging for some people, and not all sweetness and light. The anxiety about not having enough. Not having enough money, enough to buy the children presents, not enough to provide food over Christmas. All low vibrational emotions, fear, anger, desperation, shame even. But while in the ideal world, we all should be equal, sadly we are not and that is a fact. The good news is we can change our perspective about it, which in turn will change our thinking and then change our feelings so we can reframe the whole situation and turn it into a more pleasant event. We can have Christmas our way, so that means anything that suits you. Tradition has changed because people have changed. But our freedom to choose has not. What will it take for the world to see that what is missing today is love? The wars taking place, the friction between nations, the greed for power, the destruction and the trauma, and the effect it has on innocent children? What is it all for? Are we destroying the very thing that we were created for? If so, what a pity that is! But really how many times have we heard the word ‘love’ used with all sorts of strange connotations, especially about Christmas? All you need is love, that one was a trendy statement when I was a teenager, but the truth and value in that is priceless!  If only we could see that it is the truth, we are all made from love and for love. The human in us sometimes takes us away from love. It sometimes makes us unforgiving, judgemental, assuming and all the low vibrational emotions going! So let us gently come back to the meaning of Christmas, to love, sharing, and togetherness. For today let us focus on love. What can we do for ourselves that brings our focus to love? Helping the family members we love, the work we love to do, the people we love to chat with, and the simple little actions of kindness that we can do, to increase the awareness of love and to show love. Love truly is all we need.

A little bit of Zen...on emptiness One day a solitary monk was in a state of sublime emptiness sitting under a tree. Flowers began to gently fall about him. From the Silence Itself, he heard a whisper as gentle as the breeze, say this to him “We are praising you for your discourse on emptiness”. “But I have not spoken about emptiness,” said the monk. The winds whispered back: “You have not spoken of emptiness, we have not heard emptiness... this is true emptiness.” Then blossoms showered down on him as full as raindrops. His meditation bench was as empty as the Zen monk's mind. Isn’t this just so beautiful? It emphasizes how much we complicate everything and make it something it is not. This story reminds me of the people who dramatise the happenings in their life and make everything bigger than it needs to be. That is a negative habit but a habit is a behaviour that we have learned so therefore we can unlearn it. How can you unlearn these habits that do not serve, one tool I use is meditation. I have a fabulous online course called Zenology. It is a self-learn lifetime access course, comprising of three modules and you can come and go from it as often as you like. Learn at your own pace, no pressure, no stress! When was the last time you were empty, silent, or quiet? Food for thought? Or maybe it provokes thoughts about creating a drama? Are you a player in your own life drama? Are you the victim or are you the hero? Either way, the choice is yours. My superpower is the power to choose, one thought over another, be silent, be empty and be less stressed! If you are looking to add more zen to your own life or that of someone you love this Christmas I have extended the special offer on my Zen-ology, online self paced meditation course to Christmas Eve. You can purchase it now for yourself or a loved one at the reduced price of just €99 instead of the usual price of €149. This meditation course comes with Unlimited Life Time Access! How amazing is that? Find out more here & if you order now you will automatically only be charged €99 at checkout saving €50 Zen-ology | Online Meditation Course | Anxiety Specialist | Regina Curley | Ireland | Anxiety Relief Stress Management (reginacurleylifecoaching.ie)

When I looked at the calendar today I realised it is my Nana's 57th Anniversary! My Dad's mother. She died in 1966 when I was just eleven. She lived two houses away and meant the world to me, she was so kind, innovative, a woman's woman, brave and courageous, and very confident in her own skin, (bossy too!) When I think of her, I think of the softness of her skin, her little feet, her silver hair, and a silver ballerina brooch that she wore on her cardigan. Later this morning I was coming out just after having a beautiful treatment, from Ann my favourite therapist, when a white feather floated down right in front of me. Angels about I thought to myself! Then a double whammy, a robin flew across from the branch of his tree to the top of the woodpile. He sat there as comfy as can be picking around. I know they are very territorial birds and love beetles and insects to eat, so he was having a great peck through the wood to see what he could find. They are also very loyal so when they feel safe in a specific place with the same humans coming and going they come back and stay. When I passed by he turned his head sideways and looked at me, enquiringly, as much as to say well I haven't seen her before! Ann said he comes around quite a lot especially when there is food on top of the wood pile! Aw… he just melted by heart. They are such beautiful little birds, and this one was a round plump little guy with the most striking red breast. Well, they say Robins appear when a loved one is near, then I remembered what day it is and thought ah yes, that’s probably true! ROBIN REMINDERS - A POEM BY REGINA CURLEY

November is quite often referred to as ‘Grief month’ when we remember our loved ones who have passed on. Grief is an umbrella word, that covers a multitude of topics. Growing up I was always given to understand that grief was only about people dying, not about losing your job, moving house, surviving a broken relationship, or having a baby. Of course, having a baby is a happy event, but the loss of your freedom and your previous life, the one you had before you had a little baby to take care of, can be very much tinged with grief. As a practitioner, I see lots of illnesses present in my treatment room as a result of bereavement and loss being held in the body. Some clients are really stuck in a space that they cannot get out of, or think that they can’t and don’t realise that it is unresolved grief. Not everyone acknowledges the feelings of loss or grief because it was not really acknowledged at one time that there was such a thing, or they are afraid that if they acknowledge it they will fall apart and never get back together again. That's what one client told me anyway! Grief is quite a serious issue indeed. So what happens when we don’t express how we really feel, does it go away somewhere? Yes, it does. It tucks away into various parts of our body, namely our lungs and around our heart. Joining it sometimes are the feelings of loneliness detachment, and fear for the future, mainly held in the large intestine. As the lungs and the large intestine meridians are partnered, we would work both and include the heart too. The large intestines hold fear and anticipation, alongside sadness. The Chinese are wonderful at describing how we are. Traditional Chinese Medicine is an ancient modality. Their work is so beautiful and tells an incredible story. They describe how important it is to take care of our organs, to preserve our energy. As in the stress response. cortisol is released during the stages of grief. The body regards grief as an endogenous stressor. It can lead to cardiovascular problems, digestive disorders, brain fog, and lowered immunity. That surely is enough to make us think about getting some help for ourselves. Notice how most of the images that represent grief, are grey, and black and usually one of loneliness and isolation. A little compassion goes a long long way in supporting someone experiencing grief. The levels that grief have to get through, to get to a place where the constant crying has stopped, and relatively normal life resumes, is a bottomless pit. So it is impossible to put a time on how long grief takes to process. It was a given one time that it took five years. I have no idea why or where that figure came from but there's very little truth in it. That’s where Reflexology comes in. It is so gentle and so supportive. The information we therapists get from assessing feet is incredible. Clients are always surprised when we talk afterward about the lungs and heart and other places that hold onto the energy of grief. I haven't worked with a client yet that didn't find that conversation interesting. So this month, while we are remembering our loved ones who have passed on, maybe we could try and support others who are finding it tough. Keep it simple and add little gestures. An invitation to a cuppa in the local coffee shop might be just the trick, to help get through a dull day. Or maybe just a phone call to check in for a chat. Where there is deep grief, there has been great love. Apache Grief Blessing by unknown authors "May the sun bring you energy every day, bringing light into the darkness of your soul. May the moon softly restore you by light bathing you in the glow of restful sleep and peaceful dreams. May the rain wash away your worries and cleanse the hurt that sits in your heart. May the breeze blow new strength into your being, and may you believe in the courage of yourself. May you walk gently through the world, keeping your loved one with you always, knowing that you are never parted in the beating of your heart."

Today the 27th of October is my late Dad's birthday. If he were still living now he would be the ripe old age of one hundred! Receiving the acknowledgment from the President and all the trimmings! His father was in the GPO during the 1916 Rising, so all things Éire were his favourite topics. As a Gaeilgeóir lots of Gaelige was spoken in our household. It is a beautiful language and culture but needs to be taught by those who believe in and love it in order for it to be credible to the young people coming up today. His father lived two houses away from us and he was a Gaéilgeóir too. The flowers in the garden whenever I asked him what they were called, I was told the name ‘as Gaelige’, the Latin name, and then the English name! So when I came to study Aromatherapy the Latin names were a doddle as I knew lots of them already! I remember when I was sixteen my Dad brought me to receive my Fáinne Airgead a silver Fáinne. The Fáinne was worn as a symbol of love for the native language and that you were available and willing to speak it. The silver Fáinne is earned first then the Gold one follows. The night the Fáinne was presented it was here in Tallaght, Clannad was playing at the event. I remember listening to the beautiful voices of Moya Brennan and her siblings. Enchanting music that I still listen to now. That was as far as I went with the Fáinne, and it is like everything else, if you don’t practice a language it fades. He had a Fáinne Óir and so did his sister my late Aunt Treasa, whom I loved dearly and the feeling was mutual. It is hard to believe that a hundred years could pass so quickly, in the wink of an eye really. Whoever thinks of their parents being that age? Or any old age for that matter? Or that they may not be around anymore to take part in the many ‘happenings’ in the lives of the extended family. Well, he left me with his legacy of the love of flowers and fragrances and all things education. A great storyteller and writer. He never drank so I can’t raise a glass, but as I fill the flower vase today with the most beautiful flowers I can get, Birthday Greetings to you dear Dad the legend there was.

A father saw that his 11-year-old son was crying silently. He asked him. "What's the matter, son?" The young boy replied. "My rich classmates mocked and called me the son of a gardener. They said that my father lives only on the money he earns from watering and feeding plants for people" The father paused for a moment, then said. "Come with me son, let's plant some flowers. It might cheer you up" He held his hand and walked him to the garden, then he took out some flower seeds and said. "Let's carry out an experiment. We will plant two flowers separately. I will care for one, and you will care for the other. I will water mine with clean water from the lake but you will water yours with dirty water from the pond. We shall see the outcome in the weeks to come" The son was delighted as he joined his father in planting the flowers. It took them some days to finally germinate the flower seeds. They cared for them respectively and watched them grow. Later on, the father brought his son to the garden and said to him. "Look at the two flowers and tell me your observation" The boy responded. "My flower looks better and healthier than yours. How is that even possible when your water is cleaner?" The father smiled, then said. "That's because dirty water doesn't stop a plant from growing, rather it serves as organic fertilizer to help it flourish. You see son, there are some people who put you down in life, mock your dreams, and throw dirt on you. Always remember that there's nothing wrong with you, it is their ego they have to satisfy. So, don't let the harsh words from people affect you, instead, let them encourage you to be a better person. And by doing so, you will be like the plant and will flourish even in the midst of dirt like negativity and harsh words." - Credit to Unknown I love this little story, there is so much emotion in it. Not only that, but it highlights how important the support we give each other is, especially that from parent to child. Telling our children how precious they are is a joy, but also telling them when their behaviour is not appropriate is also important too. It really does go to show that we are all designed for a purpose and each one is individual and valuable in their own right.

I love browsing through old photographs. My children think I am old-fashioned because I print out photos and keep them in albums, but when they are looking for a picture they come to the albums to search! Mmmmm…… Between under the bed and the top presses in the wardrobe I have many many albums. So what happens when you look through old photographs? You go back in time, recapture memories and happy occasions, and relive them over again. My Grandad, my Dad's father, had a Kodak Box Brownie camera. A most popular one at that time. We were shown how to take photos from an early age and trusted with the camera because it had a brown leather strap that went around your neck so the camera would not fall. You looked down into the window at the top of the box, lined up your subject, and then clicked the shutter at the side and the picture was taken. It was absolutely ingenious piece of mechanism that brought joy to lots of families. However, I was not the best photographer, as I tended to leave the heads of people and important items out of the picture! My son-in-law is a very creative photographer and has fabulous photos of the grandchildren. He gave me some very good advice when I was taking photos at my granddaughter's First Communion. He directed me to look at the picture I was about to take. For example what the person or item of interest was if it was centered or not, and what light was coming through! Well I thought to myself, it was easier to learn how to drive!! No wonder his shots were fantastic, a lot of thought and planning went into them. So that’s how good photos are taken, you actually have to think about the big picture first before you click the button! Well, that explains why mine were disastrous most of the time, I didn't do any thinking I just clicked, and we didn't find out until we got them developed, so the missing heads couldn’t be corrected and the occasion had passed by. At least now we have the phone cameras and if the photo doesn’t look good, we can change it immediately! (Phew thank goodness for that) Going back to the Grandad, he really enjoyed taking the photos. As there were no mobile phones or videos, photographs were very valuable indeed. When the family gatherings happened the camera was out quickly. We had lots taken on Portmarnock beach when we were children, where we met our cousins on a Sunday morning in summertime. I loved those Sundays. First Communions, Confirmations, Weddings, and Christenings, were all treasured, adored, and browsed regularly from the albums. Photos are also a great way for persons with a learning difference to help them recall events and people. Even when they are nonverbal, the look on the face of a person with a disability tells the story, when they realise something they had forgotten about. Geoff loves looking at photos too and when I get them developed he spends ages talking about who is in them and more especially how well he looks if they feature him! Don’t underestimate the power of a photo to bring back memories, to remind us of how to feel happier and most of all to record, the moments we want to cherish. I love to use them on a ‘droopy day’ they lift my mood and raise my vibration. It’s all in the big picture!

Today's blog is in honour of Grandparents Day!I I often think that I am so fortunate to have five grandchildren ranging in age from five and a half up to almost twenty-six. Three grandsons and two granddaughters ranging in age from five and a half up to almost twenty-six. If anyone had told me that I would experience joy at the highest vibration, by just holding the child of my child I would never have believed them! The feeling is like no other, I often joke and say we should have had our grandchildren first, but we should! All the joy and no responsibility that's the best feeling ever I will never forget the first sight of my eldest grandson he was so tiny. The love that I felt for him just swept over me like a wave, enveloped me in a way that I have never been able to go back to who I was beforehand, in a positive way I mean! You know what it’s like when you hold your own baby, well this went out of the ballpark! The joy fun and laughter with no responsibility is probably the best part. Three grandsons showed up first before we got the power of another woman into the family, and what a powerhouse she is! A no-nonsense girl! Then another followed. Watching them grow up has been a privilege and hearing their stories and events that happen is priceless. Their different interests, ambitions, and way of seeing things, is so precious. Seeing them go on their journey of education, sport, achievements, and most of all friendships. Spoiling them with treats and getting away with it, is even better! I was a big fan of my own Nana, my Dad's mother. She lived two houses away from us and was in our lives quite a lot of course. Being the first granddaughter after two grandsons, I was loved and adored by her as my Dad had six brothers and one sister. She was so loving and so forward-thinking. She was always on our side that's how I felt anyway! Speaking up for us when our Dad would tell us off. What a matriarchal figure she was, small tubby, bossy, and strong-willed! Mmmmm….. I wonder who takes after her then?? Sadly she died when I was eleven and I missed her so much for so long. She was a woman's woman, her thinking was way before her time! She sent for my mother regularly so she could have a cuppa and a much-needed break from the daily family routine, which then was real manually labour intensive! My mother adored her and they were the best of friends. Every day I give gratitude for my grandchildren, their safety, health and well-being. They are truly a treasure.

Everything is energy, that is true! E-motion. Well, energy can feel like different weights, heavy sometimes and light others. I always feel around the month of May that it's time to have a holiday as my energy starts to feel heavy. I just love being at the sea and enjoying the environment, the feel of the sand, the sound of the waves breaking on the shore, the heat of the sun on my skin when it is sunny, and the air, so fresh and so calming. This is my best place to feel the energy changing from heavy to much much lighter. A shift in other words so the energy moves right out of the places it is hiding in and into the earth for transmutation. Verses always come to mind when I am relaxed and calm and this is my go-to place. Gosh, this year there has been so much rain, I am feeling the need to ‘dry out’ somewhere hot! Any offers?

I was working with a group of women recently demonstrating little techniques to help with grounding and calming. Most of the women in the group either had a son or daughter with learning differences or worked with someone who had. The conversation of course as usual got onto all sorts of things to do with persons with intellectual learning challenges. One person described her son as a person who was ‘living with autism’. I had to stop her in her tracks and say that I thought her description was so beautiful and really apt. She described the person first and the condition second. This is a bugbear of mine since I had my own son who has Down syndrome. He has been described as a Down syndrome boy so many times and it irritated the hell out of me. The stereotypical concept that all persons with Down syndrome are so loveable drives me nuts. Language is so important, it can cut you in two or lift you up. I often think that it is not the message that holds the problem, but rather how it is delivered and the language used to do so. The condition is that of a learning disability but all persons with trisomy 21 have different personalities. I have met many persons with Down syndrome since we had Geoff and some are bubbly, some are shy, some are inquisitive, and some are not. That’s how the world turns, they are not how they are perceived to be and they are most definitely not all the same! Maybe people who do not have a family member think that saying that they are loveable is their way of expressing their awkwardness. If they say something good, then that takes the pain out of the situation. But in reality, it doesn’t. When a family member went to train in psychology, she came home one day and said she found the lecturers very insensitive as they described autistic children, downs children and that was really very upsetting for her as she remembered that we had always said to our older children, that the person comes first and the condition second. It is such a pity that those in authority use these antiquated ways to describe our very valuable persons with learning differences. I always thought that my son was well capable of learning, he just does it a different way. I learned so much at that workshop, how parents are so brave and stand up for their persons, for one thing, and a new way to describe people with autism for another. Most of all they had a platform where they could describe their feelings, their experiences, and their concerns and be supported by other women in the same situation. However, thankfully I have left the anger and frustration long behind me, as we have been in the ‘system’ for thirty-five years now. But it did cause me a lot of stress at one time. In the very beginning when Geoff was about six months old, a consultant asked us at a meeting how many children we had. When I said four, he said as well as Geoffrey. Here I was holding our six-month-old baby on my lap being asked this question. I nearly went over the desk at him. I said why what is Geoffrey a specimen from outer space. My husband kicked me under the table and made a face for me to stop. Well, I didn’t then and I haven't yet!! The ignorance of those in authority took me totally by surprise. How insensitive some were. That’s probably another book!! The conversation at that workshop, triggered in me all those old feelings of being disempowered, wanting a better experience for my son, and most of all needing to be heard. I’m so glad I can acknowledge they were old feelings and I see how far I have come in dealing with them now. Working with parents who have family members with learning differences, has always held a special place in my heart. I want to help them to empower themselves because knowledge is power no doubt about it. But so is being able to regulate your own emotions and keep yourself healthy and well. The courage of parents like me is so overwhelming. We go above and beyond for our people with learning differences, who don’t have a voice of their own. We are required to grow another skin, (which some people at the workshop found interesting), stay on top of research, and look at what's new and more to the point what’s acceptable for our son or daughter. Oh and keep house, cook dinners, wash clothes, manage budgets, ferry kids to and from school and clubs, and work in between, etc., etc., We are the best supporters of each other that is for sure. Lots of information I know I got from other parents. We are so powerful. Keep shining your light oh powerful ones.